ABSTRACT
The institution of marriage commands high
social recognition and, importance in our society. Marriage is a social
institution that is designed among other things by God to be enjoyed by humans
and not to be endured. Since it involves two adults that comes together to live
as one, conflicts will arise which will shake the union to its very foundation.
Causes of the conflicts are numerous; some of them could be avoided with pre
marital counselling, marriage counselling proper and post marital counselling to
produce a stable family life.
Divorce is a total brake down of the
marriage union without remedy. Some causes are lack of communication, lack of
love for one another, lack of tolerance between the couple, barrenness in the
typical African system, conflicts of individual roles and a host of others.
The effects of divorce goes beyond
just the couples, even beyond the immediate family members, also extends to the
children’s future life because it affects their whole total life. This research work considered the effect of
divorce on the immediate family members in the area of the pupil’s attitude to
examination, the moral performance of pupils from divorced parents, the
academic performances and the pupil’s attitude to drugs and alcohol.
From these effects, five hypotheses
were developed and administered to four different schools in Surulere Local
Government Area of Lagos State. One hundred males and one hundred females were
selected from Aquinas Private College, Penny International College, Sanya
Senior Secondary School and Aguda Grammar School.
The importance and relevance of
guidance and counselling before marriage, during marriage and even after
divorce cannot be overemphasized. To assist and help the adolescent make valid
decisions and the decision taken to be realistic, so that the person can be
responsible for his or her actions.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND OF THE SYUDY
STATEMENT
OF THE PROBLEM
PURPOSE OF THE STUDY
SIGNIFICANCE
OF THE STUDY
SCOPE
OF THE STUDY
RESEARCH
QUESTIONS
RESEARCH
HYPOTHESES
DEFINITION OF TERMS
CHAPTER TWO
LITERATURE REVIEW
MAJOR
CAUSES OF CRISES IN A FAMILY
CHAPTER THREE
3.0 METHODOLOGY
3.1 RESEARCH AREA
3.2
POPULATION AND SAMPLE
3.3
INSTRUMENT
3.4 ADMINISTRATION OF THE INSTRUMENT
3.5 DATA ANALYSIS
CHAPTER FOUR
DATA ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATIONS
CHAPTER FIVE
DISCUSSION, CONCLUSION, SUMMARY
AND RECOMMENDATION
CONCLUSION
SUMMARY
RECOMMENDATION
REFERENCES
CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND OF THE SYUDY
Marriage is a social institution that
is designed among other things to ensure the happiness and fulfillment of men
and women. Marriage according to Olusanya (1982) is a sacred and permanent
contract between a man and a woman who have consented to live a life of
fidelity and caring for each other for the purpose of promoting their mutual growth
and welfare throughout their lives.
A family is the bedrock of any society.
A healthy family produces a healthy and crime free individuals in a society,
while an unhealthy and unstable family produces an unstable and criminal
congested society or community. A man from a troubled home cannot be productive
likewise a woman from an unstable home cannot be termed a “virtuous woman”
which produces a healthy and uncultured off springs.
Marriage…
made in heaven! Marriage vows… taken to be together forever! The magical
starting days of married life are full of dreams and pleasure. But as the time
passes, many couples may begin to realize that they are not perfect for each other.
They come to know about the huge differences between them; and feel that they
are not compatible with each other. Small arguments may turn to big conflicts.
Sometimes these conflicts cross the tolerance limit and make it difficult for
the couple to live together and the couple starts thinking about breaking the
relationship and getting separated. Yes, they wish to get a divorce!
Divorce
is a legal termination of marriage between a husband and wife. But why do
marriages fail? It may be due to certain marital problems such as
aggressiveness of one of the partners, physical or emotional abuse, alcohol or
drug addiction, family stress and strain or infidelity of a partner. Whatever
might be the reason, but divorce and separation is definitely painful for both
the partners. And it’s not all only about the couple; it also affects the
entire family, especially the children.
The
institution of marriage commands high social recognition importance in Nigeria.
Traditional marriage grounds itself in an arrangement between families and not
essentially a union of two individuals. It is also regarded as a union between
a man and a woman for the duration of their lives and also as a forum for wider
association between two families or two sets of families (Obi, 1966: 155).
Expectations are that “marriage is for life” or “should be for life”. This can
be explained by the religious and socio-cultural beliefs that the matrimonial
home is sacred and the utmost fulfillment was in marriage.
While
marriage is supposed to be a beautiful special relationship for the life and
calls for harmonious integration of husband and wife to “become one flesh”, many
other factors (psycho-social, cultural, education, economic and environmental
show the tendency for people inside marriage to deviate significantly). They
pursue autonomy and harmony simultaneously and these two are diametrically
conflicting goals (Adelson, 1970). This as Kalis (1970) has noted, the
particular nature of conflict in human relations may be perceived rightly as
the most abundant source of psycho-social problems which threatens marriages
and many other institutions.
Conflicts
are bound to emanate from the marriage relationship since it involves human
beings who have come from various cultural backgrounds and have different
individual and social values. The sum of the couple’s reactions to their
marital problems will ultimately determine the survival of their marriage or
its failure. Counsellors involved in resolving marital conflict must
necessarily understand the nature of such conflicts if they must succeed in
their enterprise. The study is an attempt to understand the nature of marital
conflicts as well as help counsellors acquired skill in resolving conflicts
general and marital conflict specifically.
STATEMENT
OF THE PROBLEM
Spouses
usually work had toward handling these differences and difficulties but
some
are not able to resolve the differences and difficulties. Their marriage fails.
When marriages fail, divorce is the resultant effect. There are some basic and
fundamental needs for a stable and peaceful marriage which cannot be
overemphasized. Some major causes of divorce include financial problems, sexual
incompatibility, problems from in-laws, religious incompatibility, financial
problems, cultural differences, lack of parental skills, poor communication,
childlessness (mostly in the African system and even the issue of a male
child), among other issues.
Marriage
counselling is not yet as effective as is psychotherapy or counselling directed
at non-marital problems. In one study, for example, about 66 percent of the
subjects who received marriage counselling reported the result “helpful”. In
contrast, 88 percent of the subjects who sought help for personal non-marital
problem reported the result as “helpful” (Guin et al 1960).
In Nigeria the issue is
not how effective marriage counselling is, it is its total absence even in
“official quarters”. This means that the divorce rate is high (Weigh 1994) and
even for marriages that seem to be together, the couples are unhappy and only
“bear their marriage as a big cross” (Mbazue: 1995).
The
absence of pre-marital and marital counselling may be the reason why Kumuyi
(1990) reports that homes are breaking at an alarming rate today. Unhappy marriages
and marital break down in Nigeria has serious implications for the society.
Amongst most Nigeria a community, a marriage is not an individual affair. It
involves the entire family and even the village or community (Bulus, 1986).
Marital breakdown therefore affects the health of the society. If the family
therefore is an index of measuring the success or failure of the society, it
means that marital failure translates into the failure of the society.
There is therefore need
to understand and solve marital conflicts because of the implications they have
for development. In Nigeria we are faced
with such problems like youth delinquency, robbery, drug abuse, sexual
immorality, prostitution and several others.
Several studies have
investigated the family background of such children involved, and the result
have shown that most of these problems mentioned above are as a result of
parental separation. As a result, the attention of the government, individuals
charitable organizations, parents, teachers, guidance and counsellors are
needed to consider this alarming problem.
Counselling like
education is a lifelong process. This means that every human being needs
guidance and counselling as they grow from cradle to crane. The importance of
guidance counsellor to adolescents and children in their multifarious problem
of adjustment to living cannot be overemphasized. In their daily interaction
with peers, teachers and parents, adolescents encounter educational, vocational
and personal social problems which they cannot resolve themselves. Fears,
anxiety, conflicts, suspicious of adult values and occasional rebellious acts
sometimes show the type of stress and strain which typical adolescents
experience as they grow from childhood to adulthood.
Perhaps
more than adolescents, parents also need guidance and counselling for their
daily living roles as parents especially in training their children to be good
citizens of the nation and also to have and keep a peaceful and successful
home. Counsellors have been trained to
listen effectively and help individuals make use of their wealth of resources
to resolve their personal concerns. Major reason for the Federal Government of
Nigeria to issue a policy statement as contained in the National Policy on Education
(2004) and observed as follows:
“In view of the
apparent ignorance of young people about career prospect, and in view of
personality maladjustment among school children, career officers and
Counsellors will be appointed in post primary institutions. Since qualified
personnel in this category are scarce,
government will continue to make provision for the training of interested teachers
in Guidance and Counselling. Guidance and Counselling will also feature in
Teacher education programmes.”
Consequent
upon the above, frantic efforts were made by the three tiers of government to
train Counsellors for all levels of educational system study and generous
scholarships were granted teachers to undertake courses in Guidance and
counselling. It is in this vein that the curriculum of counsellor trainees
especially at the undergraduate level has been focused on training them to meet
the demands of adolescents not only at the secondary school level but also
beyond. Counselling assumes that for us as people it is quite easy to relate
with and disclose to other people who take time to listen to us and our
problems and try to help us understand them.
Before
guidance and counselling was introduced into the 3rd world like
Nigeria, some group of individual were responsible for advising and counselling
individuals in the traditional society in the resolution of social, personal,
educational and vocational problems according to Odebunmi (1982) consisting of
traditional religious priests, fortune tellers, elders and heads of families
within the extended family system, teachers and principals within the
educational systems, priests and religious leaders of churches and Imams and
Alhaji’s within the Moslem religion, friends and acquaintances within the peer
group.
The American Personnel
and Guidance Association (1967) defined Guidance as an organized effort of a
school to help the individual child develop to his maximum potential. Bernard
and Fullmer (1977) on their part consider Guidance as the formal and informal
effort to guide youths into the future. For Ipaye (1983) sees Guidance as a
generic label, an umbrella term that covers all the means whereby an
institution identifies and responds to the needs of pupils or students no
matter the nature of the need and no matter its source thereby helping the
child to develop to his maximum potential.
Arbuckle (1966) has
attempted to distinguish the usage of the term ‘guidance’ as a concept, as an
educational construct and as a service. To him, it is used as a concept to
denote the utilization of a point of view to help an individual. From the
educational point, it refers to the provision of experiences that assist pupils
to understand and accept themselves and function effectively in their
environment. Also as a service, it denotes procedures and processes organized
to achieve a helping relationship Olusakin (2010).
The
American Guidance Service Inc. defines Counselling as the process in which an
experienced and trained person assists a second person to understand himself
and his opportunities, make appropriate adjustment and decisions in the light
of his understanding, accept the responsibility for the choice and to follow a
course of action in harmony with his choice.
Shertzer
and Stone (1976) defined Counselling as a learning process in which individuals
learn about themselves, their interpersonal relationships and behaviours that
advance their personal development. Thompson and Poppen (1972) define
Counselling as a person-to-person relationship in which one person helps
another to resolve an area of conflict that has not been hitherto resolved,
Olusakin (2010).
Smith (1955) defines it as a process in which
the counsellor assists the Counsellee to make interpretations of facts relating
to a choice, plan or adjustments which he needs to make. It involves a
one-to-one relationship and must be done by well trained personnel.
Marital
counselling has been described as the organized application of techniques or
interventions which is designed to modify for the better, maladjustment or
maladaptive nature of human relationship of marital partners. In the opinion of
Akinade (1997), marital counselling is concerned with assisting couples to
understand where they are so that they may decide for themselves which way to
go. It could be divided into two broad phases i.e.; the pre marital counselling
phase and the marital (after marriage) phase.
While
the first is concerned with assistance given to prospective spouses before they
enter into marriage, the second is meant to address marital issues/problems
likely to be faced or is being faced by married couples during the wedding
ceremony and later in their inter relationship as husband and wife. It involves
the use of counselling theories and techniques as well as biological (genetic)
screening of the individuals about to go into marriage, Adeyemi (2004). The
Planned Parenthood Federation of Nigeria (PPFN) believes that a good family
life is important because it is the condition, not only for health and
happiness, but also for responsible citizenship, community life and prosperity,
Adeyemi (2004).
Due
to consistent quarrels and fighting in troubled families, there is the need to
help couples and their children through counselling. This is the rationale
behind this study. The issue of broken and divorced parents is a serious one
that affects the life of many young ones especially in Nigeria due to so many
reasons which will be considered in the course of this project. Conflicts in
the family always prevent the home from performing its duties or
responsibilities towards the rearing of the young ones and the growing youths.
Love is a word that covers a broad spectrum of attraction, liking, respect and
positive interpersonal relations (Makinde: 2001). The importance and relevance
of Love in the home cannot be overemphasized.
PURPOSE OF THE STUDY
The
purpose of this study is to examine the place of Guidance and Counselling in
the causes and the effects of divorce on the immediate family members in
Nigeria. It is aimed at considering the major alarming causes of divorce and
the end result of these causes on the immediate family members i.e. the father,
the mother and the children in the typical Nigerian system. The major
implication of guidance and counselling before the divorce and after the
divorce proper. To create awareness on the nature and types of conflicts
generally, specifically marital conflicts. To create the need to raise
structures and institutionalize pre-marital counselling in Nigeria. To make for
harmony and integration of the family unit.
SIGNIFICANCE
OF THE STUDY
In
view of the problems caused by parental separation and total divorce in the
Nigerian society, this study will be of great help to couples, teachers,
adolescents, guidance counsellors and the general society at large.
By knowing and
identifying the causes and effects of divorce with their different
implications, the study will highlight the importance of mutual understanding
among couples for the sake and welfare of the children and the family. It will
also enable parents to know the right path in which to train and develop their
children. It will help parents know that the social vices associated with their
separation sadden and weakens the society in general.
The study will help
children to live a normal life under the right atmosphere; it will also enable
children to seek the help of a guidance counsellor who would help in
identifying their problems and finding a lasting solution to them. It has been
shown (Asher and White 1978) that children from disrupted families tend to have
lowered socio-economic and educational attainments and higher rates of
instability in their marriages.
Like Oguntoye (1987)
noted, children may undergo a great level of personal pains when their parents’
marriage end, they feel hurt, confused, angry, violent, abandoned, insecure,
inferior and other social problems in relation to their mates in the society.
This study will help teachers know how to help children from divorced homes and
understand what they are going through. To show them love and care, listen to their
problems and be able help them academically to achieve their goal in life. From
this study, couples would learn to live a respectable, peaceful and exemplary
married life.
SCOPE
OF THE STUDY
This
study is limited to Nigeria alone due to the alarming rate at which we are
experiencing divorce in our society presently. It is experienced in all areas
of our society including the Western culture, but due to time, facts and space,
this study will focus on the Nigerian experiences only.
Under
the Matrimonial Causes Act, the only ground upon which the court can grant a
decree of dissolution of marriage is where the marriage has broken down
irretrievably. The facts upon which the court will hold these are as follows:
*the
respondent has willfully and persistently refused to consummate the marriage;
*that
since the marriage, the respondent has committed adultery thus the respondent
finds it Intolerable to live with the respondent;
*the
respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected
to live with him;
*desertion
of at least one year;
*that
the parties have lived apart for a continuous period of at least two years immediately preceding the presentation
of the petition and the respondent does not object to a decree being granted;
*that
the parties to the marriage have lived apart for a period of at least three
years immediately preceding the presentation.
All
these and many more will limit the scope to just the Nigerian system because of
the religion, the system and the total Nigerian family system. Although divorce is experienced in all societies
and cultures, but the study will be limited to the Nigerian system, in Lagos
State and in Surulere local government area in particular for practical
illustration and complete understanding.
In
order to understand the study, there is the need to carry out a full study on
the causes of divorce, the effects on the children, the effects on the adolescents,
the couples involved and the general society. The period of this research was
short, which did not give room for travelling far and wide to compare the availability
and utilization of the research materials in other schools outside the Lagos metropolis.
Some
selected private and public schools were utilized for the research study in order
to carry out a full and comprehensive study on the major causes of divorce in
our immediate society, the effects of divorce on the children and the whole family,
the academic and psychological effects on the couple and the children, the
guidance and counselling effects and the contributions of counsellors to avoid
the present adolescents from experiencing these ugly monster called “Divorce”
The
questionnaire would measure type of family relationship of both parents,
divorced or not. Does it affect the students’ behaviour? The relationship of
the pupil to his father’s wives, if polygamous. Occupation of parents, total
number of children, which of the parent is the pupil living with? The problem
in the family and how all the above variables do affect the pupil’s life in
general and the academic performance in particular. Also a performance test on
English language and Mathematics were constructed to test the performances of
the pupils with duration of 45 minutes under a strict conducive examinations
condition.
RESEARCH
QUESTIONS
Having
review relevant literature on this study, the focus still remains on the
guidance and counselling implications on the causes and effects of divorce on
the immediate family members in our Nigerian society. To achieve the state
objective of the study, the following research questions were developed to
guide the study.
1. Would there be any significant difference in
attitude to examination between students
from divorced parents and those from intact homes?
2. Would there be any significant difference in
attitude to drugs and alcohol between pupils from divorced parents and those
from intact homes?
3.
Would there be any significant difference in the academic performance of
students from divorced parents and those from intact homes?
4.
Would there be any significant difference in the in the moral behaviour of
pupils from divorced parents and those from intact homes?
5.
Would there be any significant difference in the school attendance between
students from divorced parents and those from intact homes?
RESEARCH
HYPOTHESES
The
following hypotheses will be tested in the course of the research;
1. There
would be no significant difference in the attitude to examination between
students from divorced parents and those from intact homes.
2. There
would be no significant difference in attitude to drugs and alcohol between
pupils from divorced parents and those from intact homes.
3. There would be no
significant difference in the academic
performance of students from divorced
parents and those from
intact homes.
4. There
would be no significant difference in the moral behaviour of pupils from
divorced parents and those from intact homes.
5. There
would be no significant difference in the school attendance of students from
divorced parents and those from intact homes.
DEFINITION OF TERMS
In
the course of this research, some terms will be defined for better
understanding of the study.
GUIDANCE-
African communities had always had guidance and that this had always been
carried out by traditional helpers who assisted people when they had personal
concerns and problems they that could not solve all by themselves. Guidance is
a total programme of highly, specialized activities implemented by all staff
members to help individuals make wise intelligent choices and decisions.
COUNSELLING-
is a one to one , person to person or face to face encounter between the
counsellor and the counsellee. It is a helping relationship based on
trust.
It is also a process by which an individual is assisted to evaluate him or
herself
and his or her opportunities, i.e. to make feasible choices in the light of his
or her unique characteristics and opportunities, to accept responsibility for
his or her choices and initiate a course of action that is in consonance with
any given choice.
MARRIAGE-
is a sacred and permanent contract which is assumed to be enacted when two
people (usually a man and a woman) decide of their own accord and in the
presence of at least two witnesses to exchange the formal consent to live a
life of vocation of love and sharing for each other for the purpose of
promoting their mutual growth and welfare as partners in their journey together
through life.
FAMILY-
is the bedrock of any society. A family is a bio-social group, a network of
person’s intimately held together by a bond of social, kinship or blood
relationships.
DIVORCE-
or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of
either spouse. Black’s law dictionary* defines Divorce as the imports of a
dissolution of the marriage relation between husband and wife, i.e. a complete
severance of the tie by which the parties were united.
MARITAL COUNSELLING-
is concerned with assisting couples to understand where they are so that they
may decide on their own volition which way to go.
RESPONSIBILITIES-
these is the taking care of the political, social, physical, mental and economic
challenges that occurs in the home to bring about peace and stability.
ACEDEMIC
ACHIVEMENT- it is the sum total of all the child’s academic
activities and performances in the school. This could be obtained through test
grades. Academic achievements are the display of knowledge in subjects which
are measured through tests by teachers.
ATTENDANCE-
it is the action or time of being present. It includes punctuality, lateness,
absenteeism and truancy.
PUNCTUALITY-
is going to school regularly, at the right time and carrying out other school
assignments at the right time.
BEHAVIOUR-
it is the way a person acts or behave towards a given situation. It could be a
maladaptive behaviour or an adaptive behaviour towards other individuals or the
society at large.
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